Welcome Hammer and tack Willie 
In 'onor of the return of Willie Loomis, my favorite supportin' character on Dark
Shadows, I composed a wee parody poem ter be sung ter the tune of "Welcome Hammer and tack Kotter." At the
time this were originally written, Willie were returnin' from wherever 'e went ter find 'is fiancee Roxanne and
Barnabas 'ad just been reconverted ter a vampire by Jeb. 

Welcome Hammer and tack Willie Welcome back, right,
Yor dreams were yor ticket out, right? 
Welcome back, Yer no longer are ter be slapped about. 
Alffough fings 'ave all changed since yer left the tahn, 
Yer know yor loyalty 'as remained and yer turned 'round.
 
'ood've fought they'd need ya 
('oo'd 'ave fought they'd need ya) 
Hammer and tack there where Barney beat ya 
(Hammer and tack there where Barney beat ya) 

Well, we missed yer a bit 
'Cause we fought yer were the tops. 
Welcome back.
Willie's back, Willie's back, Willie's back. 
Willie's back, Willie's back. 

Welcome back. Yer were always a good mucker.
Welcome back. And we smiled wen yer returned again. 
And I know the bloody bad scene yer were walkin' in, 
Wot were it that made yer come hammer and tack again, then, eh? 

And wot could ever keep ya...
(Wot could ever keep ya...)
Here where Barney needs ya, then, eh? 
(Hammer and tack here where Barney needs ya?) 
Yeah, right, we missed yer a bit, right, 

'Cause we fought yer were the tops. 
Welcome back. 
Willie's back, Willie's back, Willie's back.
Willie's back, right, Willie's back. 

Yeah, we missed yer a bit, right, 
'Cause we fought yer were the bleedin' tops.
Welcome back. 
Willie's back, Willie's back, Willie's back. 

Willie's back, Willie's back, right, Willie's back. 
Willie's back, Willie's back, Willie's back. 
The bloody end! Honest guv!